I love my Brits. I mean, other than a bit of business back in the 1700s, and, well, maybe in the 1800s, we’ve all gotten along pretty well.
But one thing that always kills me is this thing about everybody turning into Patrick Stewart when they’re in a movie or play set in the time of either classical Rome or Greece. What is *that* all about???
You get Billy Bob from down on the farm, put a toga on him, and suddenly, he’s in the thea-TAH, enunciating in stentorian tones like Derek Jacobi in I-freakin-Claudius…
So anyway, I’m sitting there minding my own business, wondering what to watch after The Sarah Connor Chronicles (Lena Headey=birdie num-nums…), the only show this season that I watch. I mean, if something comes on TV and I happen to be watching and there’s nothing else going on (like blogging, for instance), then I might watch it. Typically, there’s maybe one show a season that I intentionally turn the TV on to watch, except maybe Sunday morning political shows. If I’m around I’ll sit down to eat brekkies and watch Fareed Zakaria or George Stephanopoulos.
So like I said, I’m flipping through my 5000 channels and pause on AMC, because Troy was on. You know–the one with Brad Pitt. Believe it or not, I, Mr. Sword and Sandal, have never seen it. So–I pause my surfing, take the mute off, and watch.
If there’s anything to be said in favor of the “British-isation” of the voice acting of classical Greece, it’s that at least it’s fairly consistent. I mean, it may be unrealistic to have staid, stoic Northern European people act out what were no doubt flamboyant, passionate, non-restrained Mediterranean types (okay–maybe the Stoics, but the rest, come ON)… but at least they all sounded like they came from the same language group.
In this Troy, the first thing I see is some guy–apparently Vinnie Barbarino’s cousin–croaking out, “Hey, YO, Achilles… what’s we gonna do?” Then we slide over to the Trojan camp, where some stentorian British guy is weighing in on something. Cut to James Cosmo, the Scot, of Highlander fame (“There’ll be nooo burrrrrrnin’ heeeerrrrr’ today!”).
Then Eric Bana–“Roight, let’s go dan undah, and throw a few Greeks on the bahbee…” Followed by the wonderful Peter O’Toole, an Irishman, with that wonderful, majestic, but slightly intoxicated sounding voice of his. “We must defeat these Grrrreeks, for they mean to steal our beloved casks of wine! Damn their eyes!”
(I have a deep love for Peter O’Toole, based in large part because he looks almost exactly like my late Grandfather Ralph…).
Now, maybe that’s not EXACTLY what they said, but that’s kinda what it started to sound like to me. And as you can imagine, I was in hysterics. I haven’t watched the rest of it, and I don’t know if I ever will. Maybe one day. I would like to see the fight scenes, I suppose.
Nonetheless, it was quite an enjoyable five minutes. 🙂
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