Express Post

I want you to take a look at this and marvel. See text below:

Wed, June 24, 2009

Re: Order Number: xyz

Thank you for ordering from Xpress Redi Set Go TM. Your order has been shipped.

Date Shipped: 06/23/09
Via: Express Shipping
Tracking Number: 23451325

Your order has shipped with express shipping and should arrive within 7-10 business days from the day you placed your order. If you would like to track your order, please click the link or copy https://spportal.fedex.com/sp/track.jsp into your browser window. Just copy and paste your tracking number to see where it is.

We sincerely appreciate your business.

Customer service is available 9am-6pm Eastern Time, Monday through Friday.

Xpress Redi Set Go TM Customer Service Team
800-357-9213
customerservice@gtxpress.com

Last week I ordered a thing I saw on TV, something called the Xpress Redi Set Go. I was actually watching TV in my motel room in the Springs and an infomercial of this thing came on, which looks like a good replacement for my George Foreman Grill (GFG). As you may or may not know, one day a few weeks ago I was going to grill some steak; when I put the steak on the GFG, little to my knowledge the little plastic pad on the bottom of the steak went onto the grill with it.

Yuck! It totally melted into the grill (and the steak). With a tear in my eye, I tossed the steak into the trash, and later tried to remove the plastic off of the grill. I never got satisfied with the result… so I told Chris not to use it, and I haven’t used it since. I really like the grill, but no way do I trust this one (aromatized plastic–mmmmm!).

If you think you can clean it up to your standards, by the way, I’ll give it to you. Otherwise, it’s going to the dump.

So, anyway, I figured I’d just get another one, newer and/or bigger, perhaps, though the size seemed okay my normal applications.

However–back to the story–I saw this on TV and thought, “Cool, just what I need, and it looks like it even has more functionality than the GFG!” So I ordered it.

Okay–note that I ordered it last Thursday or Friday. With the “Free Express Shipping!” Also, I ordered via phone, and nowadays they make you go through–I’m not kidding–an extra 15 min to half an hour of a person’s automated voice saying, “And in addition, for 19.95 a month, you can subscribe to her recipes. You get the first month free, and you can keep it. After that you can cancel at any time, or send it back and you won’t have to pay for it.”

And I say–“No,” of course. Then the voice says, “Don’t say no, yet! Remember, you can cancel at any time, and blahblahblahblah…”

So I say, “No,” and then they go on to the next thing for, like I said, 15-30 minutes, until I start cutting “her” off with a belligerent “NO!” And they finally say, “Thank you for your order, and we’ll express this to you right away.” Click. Must’ve had a voice stress monitor or some logic that said if “he starts cutting off the voice, then he’s finally had enough…”

Anyway, the shaggy dog of the post is to let you notice that:
a) I ordered last week, and they’re just now getting it shipped, and
B) they say I’ll be getting it in 7-10 days. “Business days!” What sort of “Express Shipping” is that? It had *better* have been free! Holy Geez…

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Just One Of The Crowd

Well, I think I feel a little dirty now. You see, I actually take half-way decent photos, but it’s been a while since I’ve had a good camera. I forget at what point I ended up not using one… I gave my Pentax K1000 to my brother a long time ago for some reason, maybe because I had been traveling so much on submarines or something, and actually used a good compact, film camera. A Pentax ESPIO, I think it’s called. Actually did a great job.

I think there went something marginally wrong with it, then I ended up using a series of the “APS” (I bet nobody remembers that evolution from 35mm 🙂 ) one-time use cameras. As much as I like them, they ended up having some drawbacks in range and sharpness, not surprisingly.

Then when I needed a new cell phone (and I was definitely a holdout on getting my first one, and then the replacement–people used to have to text me using cuneiform 😀 ), I got one that had a camera. So I’ve been using that for a while, and even with its limitations, it’s been quite useful.

At the last place that I worked, I ended up in custody of a Sony 5 megapixel Cybershot, not a compact at all (in fact, it’s a beeg hulking thing). It was meant to be a serious camera, before a lot of the DSLRs came out, and had a great lens integrated into the body. It also had wonderful battery life. I took the thing to Hawaii for two weeks on a not-even-full charge, and it lasted thru the whole trip and even had some charge left over when I got back. But the downside was that it was a big hulking thing, and I wasn’t just there for photos, so I ended up not using it as much as I could.

You can see some of the pix I took with it of a hike my bro and I did, if you go to my Mac site which is linked over to the right (and I don’t use any more since I post here now).

But I got my brother a really good digital “pocket camera” for Christmas. And long story short, I ended up liking it so much that I had to get one of my own. So I did. After looking around a bit, I ended up with a slightly scaled up version, the Panasonic TMC-TZ5. And yes, it’s really nice :D. In fact, right now it’s more camera than I probably need. But after being a holdout for so long, I do feel like I’ve succumbed to something a little dirty, a little lustful… 😉

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God Is An Iron

I’m usually pretty sensitive to forms of humor such as irony.

However, this evening, it took me until my first sip of sherry, after several puffs on my pipe out on my back deck to appreciate that the gentle relaxing music I was listening to was my “Health and Longevity” subliminal CD (on iPod, I had started listening to it earlier whilst I was watering my neighbors’ and my lawn). 😛

(I’m already a wild Uncle–I fully intend on being an awesome Grandpa one day. I’m in training–pipe-smoking and having a shot of something strong in the evening when the work is done; those kind of things 😀 )

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Riding High

So, here’s an unfortunately much-abused photo of my mom, riding atop the fancy convertible.

Too bad about the quality of the photo. It was already overexposed (the photo, not the girl 🙂 ), being a bright day and light colors everywhere; it really sucks that it wasn’t better protected for all those years. Ah well.

At least we still have a cute girl on a convertible. In those sexy horn-rimmed glasses, no less… 😉 . I sort of expect her to break out, “We love you, Conrad, O yes we do…!”

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Getting Off Your Rocks

Isms…

You like red rocks. I like green rocks. We good-naturedly argue about the virtues of each, but we respect each other and know we simply have different tastes in rocks.

Capitalism.

A fellow sees that some of us like red rocks, so he comes up with a way to make red rocks, and sells them. Excited–you buy one. It’s a little more than you’d like to pay, but you do okay, what with your own business of delivering rocks giving you enough to afford your beloved rock.

Another girl sees that some people don’t have rocks because they like green, so she comes up with a way to make green rocks. Beautiful! I buy one as soon as I can. Mine starts chipping immediately, however, so I take it back. She exchanges it with quickness, because she knows that sooner or later somebody else will make green rocks, and if word gets out that hers suck, then people will go elsewhere to get their rocks, and she won’t be able to buy her own blue rocks, which she loves so dearly.

We are all happy with our rocks. This is free-market capitalism.

Socialism.

The government owns the only way to make rocks. You can have a rock, but they’re in shorter supply. We each buy a rock. They only come in yellow, so we each have the same color rock. And they chip and the color goes away quickly.

We both complain; we want different color rocks, and ones that don’t suck. We are told that having any other color rock is unpatriotic, and traitors will be imprisoned or sent to make sucky rocks, or shot. After that, we are told we will go to Hell for liking rocks of unauthorized color.

We both have rocks, but we are not so happy with them.

Communism.

“The People” own all rocks. And “The People” own all means of production. Apparently “The People” aren’t enough to make many rocks, of any color. So “The People’s Army” comes and takes our other rocks, to give them to… “the people.” Apparently those people need them more.

We both complain that we are “the people” too, and deserve some rocks. We are convicted, tried, and hanged (in that order) for being dissidents and traitors and conspirators. At least the communists are atheists, so we can’t go to Hell.

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Ehn. ¯\(o o)/¯

I’ve been enjoying the Ayn Rand book, Atlas Shrugged. Yeah, finally getting around to reading it. At least I’m pretty sure I didn’t read it before. I read a lot as a kid, and this may be one of those books we had to do in school, that I might have forgotten. Though frankly, I don’t think I really forgot the books I did have to read, even if I have forgotten the content of them.

Lots of good stuff here, although I do have some problems with her weird saintly-by-way-of-selfishness, nobility-because-of-purity-of-purpose picture of industrialists. Lots of stuff to admire in many of them, but they are a bit of a caricature (or romanticization) the same way Burroughs and others wrote of the Noble Savage ideal (Tarzan, et al).

Real industrialists and real industries are/were not always so noble. Witness the rape of my home state, West Virginia. The unfortunate legacy of that is really powerful unions, rampant corruption (union, corporate, and government–and their unholy alliances), and a heavy welfare state attitude. Which is why WV almost always overwhelmingly votes Democrat. And to paraphrase Sam Kinison, while I certainly don’t approve of it, I do understand it.

Her “everyone who is not super highly obsessed by building monster businesses is a loser” portrayals are little tiresome, too. Though some of the best stuff in the book, and I mean it is wonderful, is the circular logic (or better–“illogic”) of her villains or antagonists.

Here’s a scene I just have to share–as a cabal of fellows are together engineering the slide of the country into socialism, the economic situation keeps getting worse and worse. The “government” keeps gutting the business class, basically punishing productive people for being productive through outrageous laws, regulations, harassment, taxation, etc. Yet none of them seemed to have figured out that it’s their seemingly altruistic (but at base, actually selfish) motives and resultant policies that are driving the country to hell in a handbasket, and fast (at least so far it’s not been revealed that any of the antagonists actually know that they’re doing it. Maybe there’s an evil mastermind at the center of it all. I haven’t gotten there, yet). Herewith:

Well, if you want to talk practice,” said Fred Kinnan, “then let me tell you we can’t worry about businessmen at a time like this. What we’ve got to think about is jobs. More jobs for the people. In my unions, every man who’s working is feeding five who aren’t, not counting his own pack of starving relatives. If you want my advice–oh, I know you won’t go for it, but it’s just a thought–issue a directive making it compulsory to add, say, one-third more men to every payroll in the country.

I about busted a gut when I read that one. And there’s tons of beautiful examples like that sprinkled liberally (though I hesitate to use the word 😉 ) throughout. Well, sprinkled is also too light of a word–“pounded in like railroad spikes with a sledgehammer” is more like it–as if she were trying to make a point… 🙂

Thanks to Nicki for asking me to read it–it’s one of those I’d been meaning to, but never got around to. Though it’s in some ways pretty depressing, with the slide of the world into a really dark place (so far); there is plenty of humor, and some glorious triumph as well.

There’s lots of the same thing in the C.S. Lewis book, That Hideous Strength, in case anyone was curious. Lots of the same looming ominousness, and the heroes fighting a battle against forces that are subtle, sneaky, and hide behind all manner of good-seeming intentions (the bad guys are organized into an organization called “N.I.C.E.,” a masterstroke).

He makes a great statement at one point, about the ominous intents of the antagonists, if I may paraphrase from memory: “Our main advantage is that they hate each other as much, if not more than they hate us.” That sentence would serve as well for the villains of Atlas.

Oh, and anothah thing. Starting on the bottom of page 380 (of my Signet 50th Anniversary Edition) is the best rant I’ve read or heard in a long time, and it goes on for five pages of small type. Awesome. Literally.

And it’s probably the most uplifting rant that I would ever actually name a “rant.”

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Blackwater

Found a video again on YouTube of the Blackwater 100 Race from Davis, WV. I’ve looked a few times, but only a couple come up. This one is from 1988, I believe. (Love that 1980’s videography and graphics… 🙂 )

As kids we went there as a family, in more of the heydays of the motorcycle racing. I think it was in the late ’70s or early ’80s when we finally made it there. I think after a while it became more of an ATV race, and I think they moved it somewhere else finally, due to environmental concerns.

Our cousins were living there at the time, and we hung out with them, then watched the race. It was a hundred miles long, and they did either 20 or 25 mile laps, depending on the year.

The Davis area is beautiful, and has all sorts terrain to ride the race through. Rocks, mountains, powerline cuts, creeks, streams & rivers, and most infamously, the bogs.

In the video at right, you’ll see two of the river crossings, the one at the beginning of the race, and the Route 93 crossing. Spectators were strung all along the course, but those were the most popular places to hang out because they were relatively easy to get to and close to Davis.

And there were several stretches, I’m sure where it was quite lonely for the rider, places where no spectator could or would get to. One was considered an excellent rider to have even made one full lap, let alone the full race.

Ahh, good times. I love that fact that the “spectators” at the river crossings were widely known and appreciated (mostly) for actually helping the riders make it through. In fact, it’s the only race I know where the spectators are actually expected to lend a hand at one of the most treacherous parts of the course. I think that is wonderful and really brings a feeling of participation to the sport. The riders were professionals and amateurs alike, and so were many of the spectators, so everybody kind of knew where everybody else was coming from.

As a family experience, both in general, and for ours, it was a great time, and still well appreciated by me.

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This Sweetness Is Metals

Yes, it’s true. I will have trouble resisting you if you’re dressed in belly-dancing gear. Especially if you’re a chick, and in a punk-barbarian bagpipe orchestra with monks and dervishes. 🙂

Like this: Corvus Corax

And what concert wouldn’t be better with a chariot, anyway?

Reminds me of a less metal In Extremo, seen here, here, and here.

Can’t wait ’til they have these on Rock Band. I wonder if they have a flaming drumstick peripheral…

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Killing Me Softly

I love my neighbors… even if it seemed like they were trying to kill me yesterday. Here’s the story I was too tired to finish yesterday (cue fog rolling in and flashback music)…

I had gone in last weekend to see my dad and check on his progress from his knee replacement surgery. I took my bro, Dahood, and of course, we spent some of the time there visiting my mom, other brother Chris, and his son Gabriel (aka “Sickboy”).

All was well, and as long as we can keep my dad moving his knee to keep it loosened up (yeah, I know it hurts), he should make a full recovery and be better than ever.

Dahood and I made it back to DC no problem on Monday night, so that we could both make it into work the next day. We got up on Tuesday morning, and Dave was bustling around getting ready, but I felt like I had been beat with sticks. And I know something about that…

Anyway, he takes off, and I finally get up and trudge my stuff to the truck. I was seriously contemplating just zipping by work (I had preemptively taken it off anyway, just in case) and heading to home… and as I got closer, and I felt more and more tired, that’s what I did.

I made it back home with no problems, either, and slogged up to my bed. Didn’t even take my stuff out of the truck. Just hit the bed.

And got up two hours later feeling pain over my heart. I was a little worried… but it wasn’t really my heart, it was more like my solar plexus or xyphoid process. In any case, it hurt to touch, and just felt weird. And then the projectile vomiting came…

I did that for a few minutes. But once out my system, I haven’t done it since. However, there I am, suuper tired and hurting all over… trying to get some sleep, but not really being able. Just staggering, weak as kittens, to get from place to place in my house. Man, what a day. Started having a bit of stuff coming out the other end, too, though not constantly, thankfully. In addition, I had no stuffiness of the head or nose for once, which, all things considered, was wonderful.

I haven’t felt this bad since I had a broken tooth pulled two or three years ago. I don’t know what all was going on then, but they gave me something before the pulling, and I started getting the shakes and getting weak… then I went to the pharmacy and bought some sort of anti-inflammatory. When I took that stuff–man! Again, it felt like I had been worked over and had the shakes and fever and weakness. Just like yesterday.

At some point during the day I realized I hadn’t eaten anything yet, and could maybe use a glass of juice. James, my next door neighbor was off at work, of course, but I figured his wife Patricia (“Trish”) might could give me some. So I stagger over to the window, and her car was nowhere in sight. Drat!

So, after much musing and thinking about it, I lumbered upstairs to my kitchen, and slowly drafted a request on the back of an envelope. Gathering my strength, I slowly, painfully made the 15 foot oddessy to their front door, and wedged the envelope into the door frame. Whew! Task accomplished.

After an eternity, Trish got back and came over to my front door and rang. I got up from the downstairs futon and staggered over to the front door, and we discussed options for stuff she could bring over, as I leaned on the door frame, zoning in and out of alertness.

Such a dear, she kept going on and on about maybe she could fix some soup, and maybe a sandwich, and how was I… all I wanted was some juice, and maybe some Tylenol 3 with codeine, and then to fall over.

A compromise was decided upon. I trudged back to my blessed place of rest. Again, the ringing of the doorbell, and Trish had brought over a whole jug of OJ (with the pulp, yum!), and pudding, and some acetaminophen gelcaps. Well, that would have to do. Many thanks.

Soon after, the bell was rung, the door was thumped, and I belly-crawled and levered my way to a standing position to finally make it to the door. It was Tommy, from two doors down, with his shirt up over his mouth and nose 🙂 , and another jug of juice. After some conversation about something, he goes back, and I settle onto the futon. Feeling a little better because of the juice and gelcaps.

Again with the ringing… and it was Trish again, this time with a sandwich and a banana, and a huge, and I mean huge, soup bowl of tea. Like the opening scene in So I Married An Axe Murderer, where Mike Myers says, “Pardon me, Miss, but I ordered a large…” It had it’s own weather system… I think I actually saw two navies in an engagement down in it…

Anyway, she said that this will make me feel better, guaranteed. It kinda looked like kava, so I was intrigued, though I prefer to see my drinks made before I drink them. But what the hey. So, owing to many years of martial arts training, I was able to take the massive bowl from her and hold it up while she was talking for a bit (I didn’t use the strength of muscle, but “bone strength” as the kung fu practitioners would say).

Right about that time, James came home, and checked on me, as I was leaning against the doorjamb, waiting to fall over, just wishing people would just leave me to die in peace. I did, however, leave the door unlocked all night in case I had to call 911 or my neighbors; I didn’t want the paramedics to have to knock down the door.

Finally, everybody went back, and I had some more juice and corn chips and tea and gelcaps. After a while, I felt less like dying, but still really bad. But less bad…

As the night wore on I got more sleep, but had to visit the bathroom more often, up until like 0700 this morning. After that, I was able to sleep peacefully for a few hours no problem. Ahhhh…

Today, I feel pretty good, though I haven’t eaten much, but the sandwich and some more corn chips and the juice Patricia brought over. The only thing that hurts right now is the muscles of my abdomen. Weird. Feels like the day after a really wicked workout. I’m just happy that there was no lung or sinus stuff going on!! Yay!!

And I am really thankful for caring neighbors, even if it felt like they were trying to kill me with their kindnesses. Thanks guys!!

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To Catch A Movie

Ah! Since we seem to be on a movie theme… right now one of my most favorit-ist ( 🙂 ) movies is on–Hitchcock’s To Catch A Thief.

The movie is technically brilliant; the lighting especially, the music, the acting, and the wonderful banter of the principals. I love it. And then there is Grace Kelly. I love her. This, to me, is THE movie that I think of her in. I mean, she was great in Rear Window, another of my favorites, but in this, she was… luminous.

I really dig Cary Grant, too, in all of his movies, but especially here, in North By Northwest, and in Charade (with of course, one of the other movie loves of my life, Audrey Hepburn).

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